By Sheryl Kurland A weddings mean "Aaaaaah, love is in the air." Or does it? Based on the findings of a recent Harvard Law School study, it may be more apropos for a bride and groom to declare I dont trust you! at the altar than share I dos. The study, which concluded that contrary to popular belief a prenuptial agreement increases the chances of marriage success, attempts to convert the marriage union into a sterile cooperative. The findings of the astute Harvard study go on to say that a prenup is good because it serves as a form of premarital counseling and makes couples talk about financial issues and legal ramifications should the marriage go belly up. This so-called study discovery muddies word definitions. A couple discussing financial issues is developing a financial plan, building a pathway to achieve their joint hopes and dreams. A couple attaching legal ramifications to this exercise is preparing a divorce plan, in anticipation of failure. A prenuptial agreement provides a crevice for each person to keep one foot out the door, cultivating distrust. Neither mate is ever fully dedicated to the marriage. (There are some situations in which a prenuptial agreement is advisable, such as an older couple desiring to marry, both widowed and each owning substantial accumulated assets.) An observation of todays statistics illustrates that prenuptial agreements are driven by fear. According to the National Marriage Project, about 50 percent of first marriages end in divorce, 20 percent by the five-year mark. Around 67 percent of second marriages and 74 percent of third marriages go bust. Its no wonder why couples want paperwork and walk down the wedding aisle with trepidation. However, as is true with most challenges in life, marriage being no exception, attitude is a self-fulfilling prophecy. If at the outset you believe you can achieve a set goal, the chances are high that you will. Think positively, you get a positive outcome. And vice versa. What can be reasonably assumed of a couple who enters matrimony with a distrusting mindset? A prenup is often recommended when a person of affluence marries an individual of modest means. In some ill-fated way, the document is supposed to serve as a guarantee that the individual of lesser worth isnt marrying the rich one for money. A prenup also is often advised when both parties possess great wealth. Again, the legal agreement is meant to serve as assurance against money-mongering. In other words, matrimony is being entered into under the suspicion that either the bride or groom or both are thieves! In the case of a young married couple just setting out in life together, a prenup is illogical because theres usually little, if anything, to split. Home furnishings and kitchen utensils are about all they combine. If the marriage doesnt work, shes not likely to want his brown corduroy couches and matching recliner-chair nor is he likely to grovel for her non-stick pots and pans. Inquiries with several different law firms disclose that attorneys charge an average of $2,000 to $3,000 minimum to draw up a prenuptial agreement, and the fee escalates depending on the amount and complexity of the assets of the individuals. A better investment for an engaged couple might be in marriage education courses, couples retreats, books on marriage, and other venues that will enhance and help solidify their relationship. As evidenced by the current debacle between Britney Spears and Kevin Federaline, prenups dont necessarily fulfill their intention. This pair has a prenup to protect her wealth, yet hes demanding $50 million to relinquish custody of their two children. (The lawyers, again, are fattening their wallets.) Marriage is not a contract. Marriage is intended to be a lifelong journey between two people who love each other and want to experience and explore all life has to offer together. And when the road gets rocky, its not a signal to whip out the prenup. A couple who is truly married has the will and determination and resolve to fix problems and find solutions together. Sheryl Kurland is author of the elegant coffee-table book Everlasting Matrimony: Pearls Of Wisdom From Couples Married 50 Years Or More. 75 couples, "real-life" relationship experts, reveal the keys to a loving, lasting and fulfilling relationship. SIGN UP FOR FREE, WEEKLY EMAIL "TIME-TESTED RELATIONSHIP TIPS" FROM COUPLES MARRIED 50-PLUS YEARS AT http://www.EverlastingMatrimony.com. Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Sheryl_Kurland http://EzineArticles.com/?Prenuptial-Agreements-Are-A-Premonition-Of-Divorce&id=497713 where can i order phentermine
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